Everything is falling apart. Because of my broken arm, I can hardly do ANYTHING. Everything was just starting to come together and I was really happy, and now for the next 6 weeks, that's all destroyed....I'm so frustrated right now....All I want to do is curl up in bed and sleep forever. The orthopedist that I visited today said that I'm not even allowed to jog. I can't do anything that has impact, I can only dope up on vicodin and keep my arm above my heart while trying my best not to turn into a couch potato. =( Sucky day....I'm fairly irritable right now, because the orthopedist had to re-allign my bones and I'm in a lot of pain. Bleh, maybe tomorrow will be better.

I broke my arm in gymnastics last night....My dominant arm. DAH! It's so frustrating....Gymnastics is one of my favorite things in whole world and I'm going to be out of it for a while. I can't even play Ultimate Frisbee. =(

I love gymnastics! My muscles are all sore, but that's okay, I'm going to keep doing my gymnastics classes. Driving was amazing. It actually turned out to be a bit easier than I thought it would be and I can't wait to drive again.

One thing that I forgot to mention in my previous post; I have a gymnastics trial class this Tuesday. I've wanted to do gymnastics for years, and I know that I'm starting way too late, but I really don't care....That much....DEMONS!!!! I've been thinking way too much about life lately....There are times that I wish that I could just shut my brain off for a while. Life is too chaotic sometimes.

I finally got my belly-button pierced with my best friend in the whole wide world! And my learners permit! NSJNDJ!!!!!!!! School started again, which I'm worried about, but I joined the school sport, which is Ultimate Frisbee. I feel more like I belong to something, although it also adds some more terror to my life. My belly button hasn't gotten infected yet, which I'm psyched about! It's been about 2 weeks since I got it pierced. There was this one really frightening moment, where I thought that I had ruined it all though. During Ultimate Frisbee, I was as graceful as ever and tripped over my own feet while running, and landed on my stomach. Yep, graceful. I'm still kicking myself for that, (among other things *whistles*) but my mom and I swung by White Lotus (the piercing place, which is AWESOME. They're all extremely nice and professional.) and they checked the piercing out to make sure that I didn't tear it and completely mess it up or anything. Fortunately, it's fine and didn't tear. Bwah ha ha!!!! I've been keeping up a constant exercise regime, and I don't feel as crappy anymore, but I still feel wiped out sometimes. It's probably because school just started, but I dunno. I love sleep.

There are so many days now, where I just feel numb for absolutely no reason. I wouldn't mind it so much if I actually knew why I was feeling numb. It's a strange feeling. My mind feels kind of sluggish and cloudy, and it doesn't really feel like processing much. The worst part, is even though I should have emotions and opinions on whatever is happening, I can't sort any emotions out. This has been happening way too often and I'm getting sick of it. I can't think much right now. I have no idea what to do with myself and what needs to be done, or what I want to do. Yesterday was better, I was able to freak out about how close the time is coming to when I'm going to move out and go to college.

I have bangs now....It's weird, because I haven't had bangs since I was 6, but I really like having them now. I look kind of different with bangs, so it's pretty cool. I didn't sleep well at all last night, I kept waking up every 2-4 hours and finally just got up at around 5:30am. There's not much that I have to say yet, because it's only 9:20am, but I'm incredibly bored and I'm not sure what to do. My mom is at clinicals until 6:30-7:00pm, so it's just me and my cat.

I'm in an extremely good mood right now. I just got back from the gym with my mom, so that's the main reason why. I'm completely out of shape right now and today was the first time I've started exercising again in a while. There was one other time a couple of weeks ago, but that was just some random, out of nowhere exercise. I'm about to go and get a haircut as well, which always makes me feel good, so this is a surprisingly wonderful day for me....I just hope that it doesn't suddenly get ruined or something, I can't stand when that happens.

Baby kitty!!!! *runs around screaming about magic and bananas*


....I need to lay off the caffeine....Although I most likely won't. Ever.

I've been watching Scrubs WAY too much lately....Now, whenever I talk, (out loud or in my head) all I hear is J.D.'s voice. Bwah ha ha!!!! I love Scrubs....Hooch is crazy....It's getting around that time when I usually get to go camping and I can't wait! Life is insane and it'll be nice when I get to get away from everything for a while. Hopefully I'll be getting my belly button pierced soon, I'm supposed to get it done this summer. Originally, I was going to get it done on my 16th B-day back in January, but it didn't work out. It kind of feels like I blew my sweet 16, because I still haven't celebrated it, it's been postponed and now it just feels like it's over and too late to do anything.


The closer I get to graduating high school, the more ludicrous and 'out there' my plans keep getting. The #1 thing that I have wanted to do and still want to do since I was 11, has been film directing. But I came up with this really cool, well thought up plan where I can both, join the US Coast Guard AND be a film director. Not all at the same time, but I still fit both of those things into my early lifetime and knock out two careers that I really want to pursue. The problem is that now I would also love nothing more than to add Medical Doctor into the mix. That's been on my list for a while too, just not as long as the other things. I could easily add that to my plan by just seeing how the normal plan goes and then if I want to be a doctor later, go to medical school. But I don't want to be going to medical school when I'm much older. I still want to be a kid, fresh out of high school if I'm going to go to medical school. I just need to start making choices, because I know that I can't have it all, it's just hard to accept and hard to decide. Freakishly long post over....ORCS! *drinks more coffee* (if it makes this post less boring to read, imagine me saying all of this EXTREMELY fast)

A cool picture that I took with my new-ish camera.






I'm in the mood for posting pictures....I think that she looks really adorable in this one.

Hee, my kitty being a booger. She's not supposed to be laying on my mom's computer while it's on, because it messes it up, hence it being partly closed. She loves the warmth, but it's also her favorite way to wake my mom up in the morning for her wet food, because if she sits on it, the computer will start to beep obnoxiously. I love her more than the world though....

It's raining! I love the rain so much....When the sky is completely grey and gloomy and the rain is pouring down, and there's thunder and lightning, it makes me really happy for some reason....It's my favorite type of weather. It's cool when it's raining at night as well, it's very beautiful. I'm strange and backwards....PIRATES! I'm so glad that it's almost summer vacation. There hasn't been any more snowstorms lately, so it'll be time for camping soon and I can't wait!

The Swine flu is really freaking me out, especially since we have reported cases in Colorado. It doesn't help at all that I'm a germaphobe and I am probably over-reacting in some aspects, I definitely won't deny that, but a new strain of flu that's spreading throughout the world is one of my worst nightmares....What really annoys me, is that my mom has had to go to school for a mandatory lab and an exam today as the outbreaks here have been rising. I was praying that they would put school on hold temporarily. Now I've been freaking out around my mom and no doubt driving her crazy with my incessant questions on when and where she washed her hands and exactly what she touched, with what, ect....I really don't mean to be this obsessive and crazy, but no matter how hard I try, I haven't been able stem my anxiety over this. I feel like an over-reactive idiot.

It's amazing that it's almost summer. It'll be nice when it's warm enough to go backpacking, but I always want to go skiing when ski season is over and want to camp when it's winter. My cousin Scott got married recently and I just got back from my trip to Arizona (where Scott's wedding was) yesterday. I have no idea if I'll ever really be able to move out of Colorado, because I love it so much. I dunno....I wish that I could just go back to being an innocent, naive little six year old, and never grow up.

We have most of our stuff moved into the new house. There's still a bit to do in our rooms and stuff, but all the furniture and stuff is over here (including our cat). I'm so much happier when I'm living now, I hope that it's permanent, because I'm tired of moving. I'm pretty stressed out right now....

I bought a new trampoline online recently and it arrived today! My mom and I haven't set it up yet, since it arrived too late in the day, but we're probably going to do it on Friday or something like that. Bwah ha ha!!!! I'm excited. Apparently everyone is having problems with FF.net, which sucks because it's what distracts me and makes me happy when I'm feeling down or trying to stay out of my head for a while. Grrrr....I'm so bored right now.

My mom and I are moving into a house next Saturday! It has a nice big yard with plenty of trees. I should be able to climb at least one of them....The best part is that it's really close to Hannah's house and I'll be able to walk over to little dry creek whenever I want. I can't wait until we can start moving in next Saturday!

I got this movie called "Aurore" from amazon recently and even though it has a subject that can be hard to handle, (child abuse) it's a really great movie that's based on a true story and has prompted me to try and do something to help towards child abuse. It makes me unbelievably sad and angry every time I watch it. The first time I saw it was on youtube with english subtitles (it's in French) and I ended up waking my mom up sobbing like a baby, which I continued to do at random intervals throughout the rest of the day every time I thought about it. It's sad how many known child abuse cases there are. I can't imagine how many there are that are currently unknown.

Apparently I was completely out of it last night. My mom told me this morning about a really bizarre conversation she had with me while I was barely awake.

Me: "They're going to take my head off."
Mom: "What?"
Me: "What pillows do I have?"
Mom: "...Your fuzzy green one and a bed pillow."

And that's all I know of. Bwah ha ha ha ha!!!! I had stayed up the entire night before and I guess I was starting to come out of a really deep sleep....Or something.

I haven't updated for a REALLY long time. I turned 16 last Saturday! *does a little dance* I'm not having my party until sometime in February because we are probably moving to Arvada. I'm so happy! If we do move to Arvada, it's going to be into this cute little house that is really close to my best friend's house (unlike the place we live in now).
The best part would be getting to have a trampoline again.


I'm a bit nervous right now, because this Friday I have to have an endoscopy done at the Children's Hospital. At least I won't have to be awake for it *shudders*.


I got a Fujifilm Finepix S7000 digital camera for my birthday and it's definitely the best B-day ever so far. I love photography and this camera is the most professional camera I've ever had, thanks to my mom's really close friend Dave (Who is very sweet and awesome). He knows a lot about cameras and is teaching a college class on digital photography and he's the one who gave me the Fuji for my B-day, and now he's also teaching me how to use it professionally. I just used 'and' way too many times in this post, but it's not even 6:30am yet. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation RULES!